


Every Day Gets Harder to Stay Away From You

by closetbidisaster



Series: Fics inspired by songs [11]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, sad to happy-ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 01:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetbidisaster/pseuds/closetbidisaster
Summary: On the phoneI can tell that you wanna move onThrough the tearsI can hear that I shouldn't have goneEvery day gets harder to stay away from youOrAlex goes to France and Kelley is not handling it well
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Kelley O'Hara
Series: Fics inspired by songs [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1516991
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Every Day Gets Harder to Stay Away From You

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Close as Strangers by 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> aka my way of easing you back into the pain I'm bringing.

Kelley vividly remembered the day Alex told her she had been offered a contract overseas. She would go on loan from Orlando and would spend roughly six months in Lyon playing for Olympique. Alex had asked her if she was okay with her accepting the offer, which had surprised Kelley. They had been dating for almost two years now, but that did not mean Kelley thought she had the right to approve or disapprove of anything regarding Alex’s career. She could not really see a problem with the signing either; they had been dating long-distance their entire relationship. Alex had still been playing in Portland when they started dating before moving to Orlando, while Kelley had remained in New Jersey the whole time.

So she said yes. She would happily play the supportive girlfriend and watch her girl kick major ass in Europe. The smile on Alex’s face and the way she kissed her, full of so much love only made Kelley surer that she had made the right choice. She did not want to feel like she was holding her girlfriend back; they had promised each other their relationship would not compromise their careers and they had done a very good job of keeping it that way. So Kelley felt confident that the distance would only provide a small obstacle that they could easily tackle.

* * *

It has been six weeks since Alex packed her suitcases, kissed Kelley goodbye, and flew to France. In those six weeks, a lot has happened. Alex moved into her temporary apartment, made her debut for her new club, and was quickly bonding with her new teammates. Meanwhile, Kelley was training with Sky Blue in preparation for the upcoming NWSL season. They had three pre-season games lined up, with the first being slotted for the following week.

More than that, Kelley was missing Alex like crazy. The time difference from New Jersey to Lyon being six hours made it a little harder to stay in touch than they had initially thought it would be. It worked well when Kelley had early afternoon training because Alex could eat or hang out with her new friends without feeling guilty. But bedtimes were a little harder. Alex would be going to sleep while Kelley was arriving home from training, utterly exhausted and their phone calls were usually filled with a tired silence. Kelley went to bed in the early hours of the morning for Alex, so Kelley very rarely got a goodnight call unless her girlfriend had an early training or game.

The irritation started seeping into their spotty calls and rare skype dates. Kelley wanted to be supportive of this new journey Alex was on, but she was starting to feel like the younger of the two was forgetting them.

“Kelley, what’s up with you? You’ve been distracted all night,” Alex looks concerned. She can tell Kelley is somewhere else; her girlfriend was looking anywhere on the screen other than at her. The defender took a deep breath before looking at her.

“I just...I don’t know. Things have just felt super disconnected lately, you know?”

Alex’s concerned look turns into a confused one. “Disconnected? I haven’t been feeling that at all,” she says, racking her brain for what her girlfriend might mean by that. Kelley laughs humorlessly.

“Yeah, that right there helps prove my point,” she says, shaking her head. Alex is starting to worry. Kelley’s mood has certainly been down lately. In fact, she’s not entirely sure the last time she had seen her girlfriend genuinely smile at her. The last thing she wants is to lose this relationship because she had not seen her girlfriend was upset over something between them.

“Kel, you know I don’t enjoy being away from you. It kills me knowing that you’re spending every night alone, in our bed while I’m here in a foreign country, in a tiny apartment, just wishing you were here with me. I would love to come home to you, but you know how important this opportunity is to me. You know what this means for my career.”

Kelley looks down, unable to look in her girlfriend’s eyes. She does not enjoy feeling this way, but Alex feels worlds away and it is not just physically. She wants to be okay with this situation, or at least more okay with it than she actually is. But she cannot bring herself to be okay with it. She knows that it has only been six weeks out of the six months Alex will be away and that only makes her heart hurt more.

“I haven’t seen you in nearly two months, Al. It’s killing me,” she says with a sad sigh. Alex points back and forth between them.

“We’re skyping right now…” But she knows that it is not what the freckle-faced woman meant. Her heart breaks as she sees tears in her girlfriend’s eyes. Rubbing her face, she tries to keep her frustration at bay.

“What are you trying to say, Kel? That we should just give up?” Kelley looks away again, but Alex continues before she can say anything.

“I’m not giving up on us, Kel. I know it’s not easy and I know it hurts both of us to be apart, but, for me, it’s worth it. We’re worth it. And I know it doesn’t always feel that way when we’re flying all over and playing in front of thousands of people. It can be easy to get lost in the noise. But I am not giving in to that. You are way too important to me, do you hear me?” Kelley just nods, still not looking at her. Sighing, she runs her fingers through her hair and waits for Kelley to do something, anything.

“I have to go. Training. I’ll call you after, okay?” Alex cannot help but feel frustrated at her girlfriend for completely dodging what she had said. But she knows this is not a conversation that is best had over skype when their emotions are running high.

“Okay. Have a good session, babe. I love you,” she says softly. Kelley hesitates briefly before responding.

“I love you too, Lex.”

* * *

It has been three months since Alex headed off to France. A very slow three months. Their time together is still mostly made up of late-night, exhausted phone calls and texts that go unanswered for hours due to scheduling conflicts. Both women were growing increasingly frustrated with the situation they were in. On top of that, Kelley was not having the greatest start to the season and was less than thrilled with her club’s performance so far. Meanwhile, Alex’s club was running rampant through their league and the American striker had scored a brace recently for her team.

Kelley wasn’t jealous of her girlfriend’s club. Okay, maybe a little. But she had been playing in New Jersey for four years now and they had yet to achieve what they had been striving for. They had not made the playoffs since the inaugural season and they had yet to make a championship game. Alex’s new club, on the other hand, has been running the French game for ten years at this point.

Nonetheless, they were both living their dreams. Playing professionally, earning a combined almost 200 caps for the national team, winning international championships, the lot. But neither of them cared about that, not when they could feel their relationship slipping through their fingers.

Their phone calls were filled with awkward silence and half-hearted conversations. But they keep pushing, neither willing to end this while nearly 4,000 miles apart. They had already made it halfway through, what was another three months?

“Three months, Lex. Three months since I’ve seen your face without it being through a sketchy feed. Three months since I’ve properly heard your voice. And three more months to go,” Kelley speaks softly, wishing they were skyping so she could at least somewhat see her girlfriend. Her heart physically hurt. Alex sighs, trying to keep her composure. She missed the defender so much more than she ever could have thought. Her team was dominating the league and yet, she could not find it in herself to enjoy it. She channeled every feeling about her relationship into her playing and it was paying off, on the field at least. She had tried everything to help ease the hole left in her from being so far away from the one she loved.

She had tried praying, journaling, leaving voicemails; she was getting desperate and frustrated. She had started wearing a band of tape around her left wrist during games, writing “KO #5” on it, reminding her of who she was playing for.

She could feel tears prick her eyes and took a shaky breath. She could hear the pain in her girlfriend’s voice and knew she was crying, which caused her stomach to twist. She had promised Kelley, and herself, that she would never hurt the older woman. And here they were, an ocean apart, desperately clinging to their relationship and hurting themselves, and each other, in the process.

“Kel...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left. Being away from you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You deserve better, so much better. I want to come home to you. I-Kelley, I love you. You know that right?”

“Lex, please...I don’t want you to feel guilty for taking this opportunity. I just…,” she sighs, “I’m not great at handling this. I’m sorry. I promise I’m not blaming you. I just need to get a better handle on this.”

Alex can tell the defender is still crying, but trying to remain strong for her girlfriend.

“I love you, Kelley. Please don’t ever forget that. And know that, if I had it my way, I’d be on the next flight home to you,” tears now slipping down Alex’s cheeks. She feels sick to her stomach and her heart sends a shot of pain through her with every beat. The thought of losing Kelley terrifies her. They had been through so much together, personally and professionally, and the striker considered the shorter woman to be her best friend on top of being her girlfriend. She did not want to think about what it would mean for them to break up.

“I love you too, Lex. And I am so proud of you for chasing your dream,” Kelley manages to get out. Her head is spinning, telling her she needs to either get a grip on the situation or lose the greatest thing that has ever happened to her. 

“Listen, I have to go to the stadium, but please watch the game tonight? I know you don’t usually, but please watch tonight,” Alex is practically begging her girlfriend. 

“I-Lex-”

“Please, Kelley. Watch the game.”

“Okay.”

Alex scores that night and Kelley watches her point to her taped wrist before tapping her heart twice, signaling that she had scored for the shorter brunette. Despite the tug on her heart and the tears in her eyes, Kelley manages a small smile.

* * *

“Kel, we did it. Six months and tomorrow I’m flying home to you,” Alex looks and sounds happier than she has in a long time and Kelley manages a weak smile. She wasn’t naive and neither was her girlfriend. They both knew things were going to be different, stilted. At least at first. There was no denying that the six months apart had changed their relationship.

“I come home tomorrow and I promise, no more abroad adventures. Not without you right next to me. France 2019 is ours, babe,” Alex looks at her seriously. She means every word she is saying. Kelley studies her for a moment.

“France 2019 is ours,” she echoes back. There is a ghost of a smile on her lips as she thinks about her girlfriend coming home tomorrow. She still feels hesitant, slightly worried things will be too different for them to get back to where they were. But for now, she focuses on the positive.

“I’m coming back to you. Just like I promised.”

“I love you, Lex,” Kelley responds, voice soft and full of love.

“Je t’aime aussi, ma chérie.”

“Okay, the next time you speak French, you better be on top of me.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my segway into what's up next.
> 
> Sad Kellex round 2 coming at you in a few days!
> 
> Drop a song suggestion and I'll add it to my list; all genres accepted!


End file.
